Second Week at the Job

Hi Everyone,

I know I have not kept up for my loyal fans!! Its been a busy week so far. I have added getting up to go to the gym in my daily routine. So Im a little more tired then I expected. Anyway life is good, I had a major advance at work today.. are you ready for it? I sent my first fax today! Thats right I independently sent a fax and cover page! It was great! On monday I actually answered the phone for the first time. Granted I did not know what to tell the person on the other end so I passed it off to someone who knew. Anyway Im becoming quite the office genius as you may well tell from my exciting adventures in office land!!

Im getting excited about Christmas time!! Lots of parties gatherings and fun with friends and family! Im dedicating this weekend to cleaning and decorating my house for christmas!! Oh waht fun!! Anyway thats all I can write for now. I will have more inspriation tomorrow and write then

Im Old

How do you know when your old? I will enlighten you- listen carefully all you younger souls who think it wont happen to you cause it will! you know your old when on a friday night you go to hang out with a good friend and you BOTH fall asleep watchng the movie you have rented. You know your old when you are exhausted at 1115 and have to get home to bed. Lastly you really know your old when you get home to your new husband not for a night of newlywed fun but to find your hubby fast asleep in bed snoring away! Yup thats it folks thats how you know your getting old. Cant escape it! Im old and im tired to boot. Im so old that I have to end this blogg so I can get to bed!! At this rate ill be in bed at noon by the time Im 35! But that of course is a whole other blog!

Oh last way I know Im old plans for New Years: Nope thinking about staying home- probably falling asleep on a coach as Dick drops the ball and instead of kissing Barry I nudge him cause hes taking up to much space on the coach while we both sleep! LOL! ANyway I better stop I think Im starting to really feel my age! Off to bed!

Should an oil change cost 145 dollars?

Im sure from the title of this blog most of you would assume that an oil change should not cost this much. However if your me it does, allow me to share my experience.

So I got off work early today and thought wow I have time Im gonna be a responsible car owner and take my vehicle to Jiffy lube- thats right jiffy lube I will not hide their name to protect them in any way. So I get there and they bring my car in (now for those of you who have never had the joy of jiffy lube I will explain- its jiffy beacsue they do the oil change while your sitting in your care reading a newspaper and drinking a coffee- not a bad service however im pretty sure I know how they afford it!!) So they start to ask me some basic questions name address etc. Then they get to the car questions- of which I have no idea the answers. So smart Cherie says, I dont know anything abotu my car I just drive it quote "do what you need to do" that should have been my first warning.

First I find out my car is "special" and needs a differnt oil or something so I have a 10 dollar service charge. Ok no prob Im drinking coffee reading the paper. Then I get notified that my air filter is really dirty and the guy "jeff" shows me this air filter from my car and scares me with horror stories of poor gas milage and car damage. So I say go ahead put another one in- how much coudl it be! Then as I continue to read the paper I get asked when was the last time you had your wind shield blades replaced? I was like I dont know, so Jeff says well we have these new ones that are really great they dont freeze up with the snow and ice and they scrape the water and ice away like a squggie (cant spell sorry!) So common sense says I should now ask for a price and he says 24.99. He even will "install" them for free. I say yes go ahead. Now let me tell you what I learned: by 24.99 he meant each wiper blade not both, and by install he ment unclip the old blade and snap the new one on a complex process that took all of 15 seconds.

So Jeff says finally that will be 145.00! Im like 145 ? what the heck so not wanting to cause a scene I paid and looked my receipt and sure enough everything on there i had agreed to. I felt violated as a knowledgless care owner I had been ripped off. As Julia made note when I told her the story I could have hired a squggie kid to wipe my windows for a whole winter for the price of that oil change. Alas learning for me and commission for "jeff". No more jiffy lube for me... oh and by the way that free paper and coffee dont quite seem so free anymore!!

Day Four and feeling much better

Hi everyone

Ok its the end of day four. It has been to full days since i last made a post. I have to say things are way better. Im starting to get a better sense of the job and even though I have 6 mths of orientation and stuff ahead of me I feel capable to do the job. Do I still miss the hospital? Yes and no. I miss the people, I miss the excitment but I dont miss the craziness and exhaustion.

Although I find myself faced with new types of exhaustion. I find my brain is on overload. I came home tonight with a major headache as I had been working on the computer updating client charts all day. I felt like my head was gonna split open. And I feel like Im turning into a blob sitting all day. So I will be going to the gym 3 days a week to combat the fact that sitting there is not the same activity that Im used to being up and walking long halls, moving patients and just the much mroe physical jobs.

The other good news is my work place is very nice people so helpful and friendly I think I will fit in just fine. Also come January we will be moving to Oshawa!! Yahooo! For me this is great as we are now in Pickering and the traffic that way is just a brut! So now Ill be able to make a night gym class and not deal with traffic! Its gonna be grrrrrrreat! Also Im now down the road from y dear friend Julia so hopefully she and I can go have some lunch together from time to time!!!


Anyway Im tired my body is not used to this whole five days of work thing! But Im looking forward to the weekend and Im sure I will adjust. Thats all from this newlywed. My dear husband Barry is doing well, some work issues but it looks like things are settling down for him. He still wants a new job but hes doing alot of looking so hopefully soon he will get something. But hes still the apple of my eye! Anyway off to eat something!

Day Three, unsure

Well its Day three of my office adventures.. or rather lack of adventures. I know that I cant judge this job yet as its too soon I have to give it more time. But as of right now Im not sure, at this point Im bascially watching other people work and reading alot of policy manuals!!!! Who knew that they could write so many policies? There has to be a policy for everything. I thought about stopping to see if there was a policy about how to pick up the phone or how to use the bathroom, sadly there was not. But perhaps they will have me write one!!

Im making fun of the policies but really the people are quite nice and helpful. I know that the start of any new job is like this you do all the boring stuff first. But as I sat at my desk yesteday I found myself thinking about what might be going on at the hospital, are they doing a stat section? How many people are in labour? Im gonna need time to adjust I also am finding going to work everyday very tiring. Im used to getting it all done in three days of hell just do 12 hours for a few days stright then being off. Now im at the grind everyday. I dont know, I dont want to think those awful words, I dont want to even write them for fear they may be true but I cant help it..... what if I made a mistake? What if Im not this kind of person who can sit in an office 8 hours a day? I dont know. I have been told that it will take 6-12 months to adjust. All I can say to that is its gonna be a long year. Anyway Im not throwing the towel in yet its only been a few days and who knows its gotta get better. I hope!

So Far So good

Well I dont have alot of time to blog right, but I thought I would put up a quick note so that everyone knows I survived the first day. It was good, the people are nice, the office is cool, the job seems like its gonna be interesting. I had a great day.

Hope everyone else is having a good week. I will write more details later maybe tonight when I get home. Also keep Barry is your thoughts today as hes having some difficulties with his boss, and there are some worries about the outcome. So send him your positive thoughts.

Bye all off to the office!!

New Job Day One

New Job starts today. So far so good, got out of bed its 7am, (thats already better then 530am) Showered, put mousse in hair, writing in blog. So as you can see so far my day is a shining sucess. I figure if I take baby steps towards my day then I wont freak out about anything and everything will go fine. Im a little nervous as Im sure anyone would be starting a new job, but surprisingly Im not as nervous as I thought I would be. So maybe thats a good sign. Anyway Im gonna go get ready (put on my business clothes!!). I will write more when I get home about my days adventures. Have a great day everyone!!

Goodbye 2 Center

Hey All

well I did it! I made it through the last day. I was sad and it was hard to say goodbye. There were some tears, but you know what? As I left the hospital I felt better I felt like I was ready to leave and I was ready for the change. So I dont have much to write Im gonna just keep it simple and say I had a great last day had my last delivery enjoyed it and said goodbye to the people i needed to say goodbye to.

So monday morning a new chapter begins. But for now Im just gonna enjoy my weekend- the first of every weekend I will have off. We are gonna go out to the Walzing Weasel in Courtice tonight so if anyone wants to have a drink with us thats where we will be! Heres to good memories, great friends and a new start! Dont look back look forward. Cheers!

The Last early rising

Well this is it. The last early rising. Of course now I will arise a little later on a more consistent basis. This is the start of my last day as a labour and delivery nurse at the hospital.

I have mixed feelings of course. Happy to be done with the shift work which has pledged me for some time, but sad to leave my little home on 2 center. I feel as though this day is gonna be quite difficult and the only way Im gonna get through it is if I just pretend that its another day and that Im just working like I always do. Other wise I fear I may crumple a bit and I dont think I want to have everyone see me cry. (not that most you have not. )

Its been a journey to get me here. Who would have thought that the scared little nursing student who could not even go into a patient's room to say hello would not be leaving the hospital to pursue more ambitions? Certianly not me. As this day unfolds Im going to enjoy it. its my day Im going to saver all the "last times" and talk to the patients and hear there stories for the last time. Its been a good ride, but like all good things it must come to a close. So as I take my final bow on the center stage and gracefully exit I know that the show will go on- its just a different production. Stay tuned for my last day reflections.

If your finger is bleeding during an interview is that a bad sign?

The way I look at it is in anything, book, tv, magazine- the headline is what grabs you. So I decided that today I would make a wacky title to entice readers into my story.

So today is the day before my last shift at Markham many mixed emotions as you may well know. It is also the day that I went and had my interview with Trent University. Let me tell you one conclusion I came to: I dont smoke, have no interested in smoking and am generally dislike being around it. However today that interview was so stressful I would have lite up a cigarette right then and there had one been available. Allow me to walk you through my trent experience: I walk into the office and am greeted by a friendly girl who seems to for some strange reason already know my name. So I think this will be nice I already feel at ease. Then an older rather stone faced lady comes to greet me and I think oh shit were did the nice reception lady get to...

So I enter the room only to find Im being seated at the head of a table with 7 stone faced old nurses staring back at me. I dont know at this point whether to make eye contact or not, its almost like a wild animal in some cases if you look directly at it you can set it off. So the interview proceeded with me feeling sweatty and jittery. Infact so jittery that I managed to pick at my finger nail under the table till I could feel blood on the top. I look down and to my horror theres a little pool of blood. But thanks to my quick thinking I managed to use my coat sleeve to wipe it (note to self: clean coat) . Anyway the next hour was filled with mind numbing questions that I had to fumble and find words to put together into some form of a constructive sentence. I kind of now wonder if I might of sounded like i was handicapped in some way (not that theres anything wrong with that). What can I bring to trent university? Wine and cheese maybe? Perhaps a good joke? LIke I dont know what they were wanting. Describe a situation where you had a conflict with someone and what you did to resolve it? Umm... Barry would not give me the remote and I had to beat him for it therefore getting to watch my show instead of his? Am I off? do these answers seem like now what they are looking for? Describe a time when you were a leader was a particulary difficult one, Im doubting that they care that in grade 5 I was in the school play Snow White and I got to play the magic mirror, it was a challenging role for me but I think I thrived on the challenge. hmm something tells me Im way off!

Anyway after the interview was over and my finger stopped bleeding I had to wonder how I made it through the interview. Allow me to share with you my secret for interviews of that nature: see universities are all the same in one way- they love bullshit they love to hear it, speak it and write about it. So as long as you can spout off some good lines of fresh poo poo your golden. I just so happen to be a very good Bull shitter. I can talk like im right up there in cavier land when really Im down in kraft dinner valley. The problem becomes that after all the Bs is over and done with I dont seem to have really idea what I was talking about in the first place. I wonder if that would be a concern: teacher good at BS, bad at actual thought processes? Hmm I wonder time will tell.

Last Night Shift Done

Well my nights of toil have come to an end. I have mixed feeling of course but Im glad that I will snuggled in my bed at night like normal people. I was so tired last night it was like my body was saying we are so done with this!

Of course I was sad last night work threw me a little party and we had food, but I found it hard not to cry cause I felt like I was leaving my family. Its been a great 4 years full of highs and lows but as my 2 center mentor carmen has said to me: cherie in life you have only 2 choices you either make peace or make change. I tried to make peace with the shift work life I tried very hard. But in the end change seemed to be the better option. I dont know how I will like this job but I will give it my best shot. Im nervous its funny I can resescitate a baby, have my hands insides someones abdomen and its easy and I dont even blink- but the thought of an office with all its responsibilies scares me to death. I guess its all what you know and are comfortable with.

We are still in limbo over Barrys job it now looks like he will be getting a mix of days and evenings in 6 week blocks, but that still sounds sucky I mean what if that 6 weeks you are on evenings is like all of july and half of aug? Thats your whole stinking summer poof gone!. I dont like it at all and the timing could not be worse. But Barry I feel so bad for him he loves his job and its awful that they have put him in this cornered postion where he has very few options that work for his family. I know that with time we can work it out, I just hope that I can be the support he needs and that luck will pass our way and help us find a better choice for him some how. I love my husband and want to be the best friend and supporter I can. Hes worth it. I also beleive that he is very talanted and will find the perfect job. Our year is coming 2005 has been a year of mixed feelings we have experience saddness and joy I believe that 2006 is the year of us.

The new man in my life

Ok this is gonna sound so sad. Of all the things to get excited about I have found a new love. Hes gonna make my life easier, hes very flexible and clean. He will do whatever I ask him and he loves to do my housework. No its not Barry its my new Mr Clean Bathroom Scrubber! Its the most amazing thing I have ever owned! It cleans so easily with an adjustable handle and scrubber pads. Im in love! saved me a ton of time and effort in my cleaning! Who knew that a household product could bring so much happiness!!

Yes I think this may be a sign that Im getting old loving cleaning products I dont know that this is normal!!! Anyway im off to keep cleaning with my new Man Mr Clean, perhaps I will ask him if he wants a night cap haha!!!

Another reason I know that I have made the right choice

Gas, Gas pain is how I know that I have made the right choice with my new job. Every time I do nights I have awful gas pain. I cant fart it away, sometimes I cant fart at all. Everytime I go to work at about 4am my stomach turns and rumbles and the gas can be felt.

Its pretty funny actually to know that you have made the right decision about your life based on such a simple bodily function like gas. But my body is rebellling from being awake at crazy hours. It likes to sleep at night and be awake in the day. This is the way nature intended- I feel for all my friends that do the shift work as I know what you go through. But for now 4 years of nights and gas pain this girl has reached her limit.

Just another simple confirmation that I have made a good choice. Plus the other news that hit the nursing station last night: the part time schdule is changing. We now do like 2 complete weekends in some way either like a few partials or just two stright weekends in 9 weeks. Someone has decided that we need to work more weekends to balance out the schdule so they have proposed that part timers do 6 partial weekends out of 9. People were in an up roar frekaing out. I merely smiled sipped my water and felt relief to not have to worry of such things.

Anyway Im on my last day sleep!! I have my last night shift tonight and my last day on friday. So for now Im taking me and my unrelenting gas pain to bed. It should be gone by the time I get up, only to begin its nasty cycle again tonight.. except that this time I will have the last laugh as there will be no more nights to rear its ugly gasy head!! Gas 1, Cherie 2 I win ha ha!

Why I love my husband

Well as many of you know Barry and I have had some stress in the last week. My new job is coming up, his job hours are changing. Altogether its throwing things out of whack. So it goes without saying that times like these its easy to forget the good stuff and easy to focus on the negative. So todays blog I thought I would take a minute to focus on something good: why I love Barry. There are many many reasons why Barry is the best person in my life, Im gonna share some of them with you.

1. Barry is the funnest guy I know. He can make a joke out of any scenario and finds the homour in situations that I dont. He helps me laugh at myself and not take life so serisouly.

2. Barry is thoughtful. When I least expect it he does something unexpected and kind. He always puts my needs first and does small things for me that mean the world. When Im sad and remembering not so good times he surprises me with his words and actions.

3. Barry is Handsome. Barry has the bluest eyes of anyone I know. He can turn me to putty and get me to agree to anything with a look (including express view TV). His smile is contagious one look at that grin and even if Im mad at something my lips turn up despite my efforts to hide a grin.

4. Barry is sensative. I know that many men spend there whole life not wanting to show emotion and even he would joke about going to "get you someone". But I have seen his heart and he has a good soul he is truly good at the core he makes me feel guilty sometimes because I think he is truely a better person then myself. I am lucky to have him influence my life and teach me ways of being a better person. I hope that I can be the kind of wife to him as the husband he already is to me.

5. Barry puts up with a bed hog. What you say how can this be good? Put two bed hogs together to share and it gets interesting. Even when he gives me a shove over or tries to tickle me to get me to move , it always makes me laugh. And when Im sad or scared or just needing to feel loved he lets me cuddle him and doesnt complain that Im in his space.

6. Barry is patient. I am perhaps one of the most frustrating people on earth. Im dramtic I do rash things and I often spill out things that I dont mean but say in a wrong moment. Barry puts up with me. He never gives up on me and is willing to listen to me and all the crap I can sometimes come up with. He grounds me brings me back to calm and reality when I would let myself spin off to outer space and lose all logic Barry brings me into focus and helps me see the truth.

7. Barry knows me. With one look one gesture he knows my mood and what Im thinking. Hes so insink with me that I just have to look at him and he already knows whats going on in my head. This helps when momments of humour arise in public and one cant say hey look at that- its good to have someone to share a private joke with.

8. Barry is a good listener. He hears me out lets me tell him anything and remembers all the insignficant details of my stories. He remembers names of my friends a work, he helps me to strive to be a better listener he teaches me that talking is not nearly as important as hearing what the other person has to say.

9. Barry loves. Barry is loving he would forgive anyone. He has shown such love and forgiveness to people in his life who have hurt him. He can always find something good to say about even the most unpleasant of people. He loves me the way I am I dont feel the need to change, I am accepted and I know that he is proud of me.

10. Barry is a hard worker. Barry works tirelessly at 2 jobs every week. He puts in 110% effort in his work life to provide for us and keep us safe. I feel safe with him and Im so proud of all that he has done professionally. He is so trustworthy and smart he can learn anything and do a good job. His bosses and co-workers are lucky to have him work with them.

This is only a small list of the things I love about him. He makes my life complete ( I know a little cheesy Jerry Maguire for ya) I am so happy to be married to him. I know that no matter what challenges life brings us we will be happy sucessful and work together to find solutions. I love my little Bear Claw.

Has Anyone Experienced Newlywed depression?

Ok I have to ask this: has anyone else there experienced newlywed depression? I mean I know that people have depression after they have a baby, I know that people have depresison for all kinds of reasons.. but this is suppoed to be a great time in our lives yet it does not feel that way. I feel like things are going wrong for us.

Its like we were on this high got engaged and all the planning and parties and fun times were happening then poof! its all over and your just here excitment over. I was reading my friends blog and she just got engaged I was reading her excitment- I could almost feel it and I was so happy for her, but at the same time I felt sad cause my time is over.

It also does not help that we have all this stress right now, Barry and his job and my new job. If you have no idea what Im talking about read back and there is much details. Then to put a cherry on the cake we are in the car tonight and on comes this song that I used to love to dance to in college and I was feeling so old cause here I am 28 married, job, mortgage- I mean Im very happy to have those things but part of me just wanted to be younger again and have a night out at the bar no cares dance till the wee hours drink and be merry.... I know Im dramatic but I feel my youth slipping away from me I feel like Im gasp- OLD I dont like it.

So there you have it put all that together in one big parcel and you have my depression. I hope it doesnt last. I mean really I have so much going for me wonderful husband, nice home, great friends exciting new job, the holidays are coming- so many good things yet I feel like all I do is focus on the negative and I dont know why..... Im sad, I want to be happy.

opportunity is knocking I just dont have enough hands to open all the doors

7am Im not working today, so you ask why am I awake? good question indeed.. I cant sleep my stomach is in knots and I am feeling stressed. It would seem that life has handed me yet another werid opoortunity. I applied ages ago like Aug to Trent University for a job, I never heard anything from them then they call me yesterday wanting to interview me for a full time postion! I was like what the heck is going on here?? Why is life doing this now when my mind is made up- or thought it was and Im just about to start a new job.

So I thought about it and decided that I would at least go see what this was all about. I mean it would be foolish to not go and see what the job involves. I guess its true what they say when it rains it pours all the opportunites that you look for and never find all of a sudden come in one big clump. I dont understand why the universe does this, I mean if would be much nicer of life to say ok look here are your options here are the pros and cons and you can have a month to sit on a tropical island sip some drinks and think about what you want to do. Wouldnt that be nice? I think it would be lovely!

Stress is taking its toll lately, they say that moving, getting married, changing jobs and experiencing a death are the most stressful things that you can go through. Well in the last year I have had 3 of those 4 scenarios happen to me. I just want to sleep again I want to sleep the sleep of a person who has no cares and is at peace. Will that day ever come? The thing thats hardest about giving my notice at work is now its 2 weeks of constant goodbyes and lottering around waiting to leave and feeling scared and trying really hard not to look back and ask my self if this was a mistake or not. I am much more the person in favour of rip the bandaid off quick and get the pain over with vs the slow agonizing removal. Im excited about the new opportunities ahead I think I just need to get myself into the job and start.

Well as the nausea swirls arouund in me I will continue on hoping that things will get easier. They can only get better from here on in.

Count Down: 4th last shift

Well its the unpleasant hour of 6am and Im sitting here trying to be greatful that Im well and live and can go to work, where others cant... yeah its not working! I want to crawl back into my nice warm bed where Barry still lays snoring.

This is my forth last shift, hard to believe that the cound down is on. Its hard cause each of these shifts signifies saying goodbye to people as you never know how often your gonna work with people. So its hard especially when some people are not always the nicest they make comments and put doubts in your head as to whether you did the right thing or not. Last night I had a bad cause of the oh my God what have I dones. But Im thinkng Im gonna have to take some time to adjust.

I wish I were a computer, then I could just open the disk drive take out the disk thats marked Hospital 2001-2005 then I would not be able to think about it. I would be a blank slat and could not feel bad that Im leaving my job. I could just put the disk in called job with a step up and go from there. ah computers dont they have it easy?

Goodbye Markham

Well its offical I gave my notice yesterday, it was a bitter sweet moment. I have been at Markham along time. The funny thing is that my previous blog was baout all the wonder of working at the hospital.... well let me tell you what happened sunday night, so busy crazy, no time to think, have a pee let alone eat or have a break. we had so many labour patients that we had to close the unit and not accept any more patients.

So I went about my work and delivered my patient all went well. Then I sat down for a few mins and I told another nurse I would watch her pt so she could go eat something (its now 3am) Then I hear this blood curtling scream from the far end of the hall. I think I better go see whats going on... I go to the room and there is a women in labour (natural labour) thrashing abd kicking and screaming. So seeing as there was noone there I thought oh the nurse must just be out of the room I will just stay there till someone comes.... 1 hour passes and Im swaeating and trying to keep the pt in the bed while she screams in my face. It was like being part of an exercisom she basically screamed the baby out... and perhaps some unpleasant poo poo in my general direction! SO finally after all the work was done baby born etc etc the nurse shows up and was like oh I did not know you were here. Im like yeah I was exorcising your patient for you.

Anyway I have to say that morning I was less sad about the resignation. Im sure there will be mixed emotions in the weeks to come but Im gonna do my best to adjust and enjoy my new start.

Thoughts From the Uterus

So its amazing how such a simple uncomplicated moment can turn into such a state of mayhem. I just got off my shift at the hospital and I think Im still on an aderenaline rush. I was minding my own business at 6:30am just biding my time for the last hour to pass so I could go home and sleep. Then the next thing you know one of the nurses is running around the corner yelling set the OR theres a 10cm breech!!

So Im in the OR setting and they are bringing this women in. There is usually 2 doctors to do the surgery but because we were in a bit of an emergency there was just one and me. So there i am hands in it in the womens gut. See its hard to be on the verge of this change Im making and in moments of excitment I think Im a labour and delivery nurse how can I leave this? I was holding her uterus in my hands while it was being stiched up, how many people can say that they have ever had that experience? I had to push her intestines back in and hold clamps and sutures as the Dr stitched her up. Its an amazing feeling to have the human body in all is complexity so close to you that your litterly inside and can see what makes them tick. I said to my favorite Dr we will call him Dr H I said see this is what makes it hard to leave momments like this. And he looked at me and said yes but its all the daily grind you go through for this, its not worth it... hes like dont look back just look forward. So as I nodded and helped him slip the uterus back inside its home to be safe and protected in the pt. I realized that while I do love my skills I perhaps need to love my health and sanity more- as I could feel the nausea and stress and sweat of the situation settling over me for the drive home. Anyway one of my many moments of ponder Im sure. Who knew a uterus could say so much? who knew.

one night down 4 to go...

Well I have done the first of my last five nights at the hospital . I have to say that I still hate nights even though I dont have many left. I felt like pooh this morning I could only sleep till 2:30pm and then i was wide awake.

It was sad for me last night as it was the start of the goodbyes. I had to start to tell people that Im leaving which was hard cause it makes it more real. Then it was hard to say good bye to causal staff that I dont see very often. People have been generally nice and supportive about my decision but still it makes me nervous like am I making a mistake? I mean I cant look back I just have to look forward and relaize that now that Im married this is a good move for myself and Barry. We will have more time together and the same schdule. I just hope that I can actually do the job and that Im not a giant flop at it. Thats the part Im worried about.

Anyway tonight is the second night in a row, then Ive got one more. I hope its not busy tonight.

Sunquest friend or Foe?

As many of you know Im waiting on a refund from my honeymoon as thanks to Hurrcaine Wilma was cut short.

Sunquest your trying my patience. I have called 10 times and each time they say call next week. So I dumbly obey this and call again the next week only to be told to call again. They tell me that Im getting a refund back but for all I know that could be 2 bucks and a lollipop. So I guess I have no choice but to remain in the mercey of Sunquest. Lets hope that if they know whats good for them they will give me my mola!

Friday and now I work all weekend- NIGHTS

Ok so most people are greatful for friday right? Its the end of the week your gonna be off enjoy some fun with friends and family, get some stuff done. Whatever it is the weekend is supposed to signify the start of your time. Not so for this girl, I worked monday, wed and now I work fri-sun 12 hour nights. Im not sure how many of my blog fans have had the delight of working a 12 hour night shift. If not allow me to lay it out for you. First you wake up friday morning and you want to get up and do things but you think I need to sleep so I dont die tonight. So you get up for a while putter around and then around afternoon you had back to bed. But you lie there not tired cause after all you have not done much today yet. SO then you head to work it starts out ok being that your awake so its not like that feeling of having to get out of bed and go to work. Then the clock ticks on 7pm becomes 1am and suddenly you find that at 3am you hit the wall.. the nausea starts your hungery but you dont know what to eat. you just want to put your head down and sleep, but no there is work to be done. So then your given a patient or perhaps you have one already and the patient through no fault of their own is either really excited about having their baby and want to talk up a storm to you or they are rithing in pain and are trying to claw your arm off. Either way you are expected to be at your perkest best and provide the same quality care they would get in the day. Very difficult. Finally its like 7am your half an hour away from getting out your trying to drink water as you feel dehydrated from not drinking earlier due to the nausea. Then just as you think your in the clear and you can almost feel the softness of your pillow under your head... you hear a scream and some women is rip roaring labour comes down the hall about to deliver- off you go to help. Finally probably some time after 7:30am you wearily stagger to your car and get in and drive home. Your night is over.

Ok so I guess my motivie for writng such a blog is that I do like my job, I am proud to say that Im a labour and delivery nurse. But i guess as I make this transition to a new job I have to try and remind myself of the the reasons that Im leaving. THe things that are difficult about my job can be over whleming at times. So Im not trying to sound bitter Im just trying to be thankful for the opportunity I have in front of me. Anyway thats it for this blog

Guys should not be in aerobics classes

Can I just say that I went to the gym tonight and there was this middle aged guy in my tae boxing class. You look around the room and there are women of all ages in the class and this one guy... plants himself in front of me. So Im like ok this is werid but whatever. So we start the class warm up ease our bodies into the workout.. then the upbeat music starts and he just gives it! hes all over the floor jumping and moving - moving far out of his alloted space. we are trying to box to the mirror infront of us, I cant seem to see my reflection cause jazzercise boy is all over it. Ok guys out there: aerobics is for girls. I felt like at the end of the class I should give this guy a pink leotard! Yes he definatly wins the pink leotard award!

On the other side of things the class was good although it was my second day back to the gym in like 3 weeks! So I nearly died wanted to quit 30 mn in. But I lasted and hopefully will get back to my stregth levelI had before the wedding soon.

Anyway my stress is at an all time high with job changes on the way I did a number on some halloween candy tonight.. but thats for another blog. Life is funny!

And So a new chapter begins....

So the waiting is over. Today I got the news that the job offer I was waitng to hear from is mine. I was in shock as I found out this news at work. Which made it 10 times harder thinking about how much history i have at my hosptial. I have put 4 years into my job I finally feel comfortable and happy in my job and now crazy Cherie is gonna leave!

But its one of those opportunities that does not come along very often so I feel that to turn it down would be a huge injustice to myself. Im scared to death! I told my boss that I thought I would be leaving and would let her know on monday. She was very supportive and understanding. I never thought I would do this Im such a wimp. I hate change and here I am just married and Im settling in after the wedding and Im gonna thrust myself into a huge life change. Its so hard to know whats right, I mean there are so many pros and cons, how do you ever know if your making the right choices? I guess you can never be sure. All I can go on is that this opportunity was given to me and it seems logical to follow it. The one good thing is that I will have more time with my husband and we will be on the same schdule.

I keep thinking what if I suck? what if I just dont have a clue hoe to work in an office? Im scared that I will not measure up to my job description. I dont have any idea how to work a fax machine, Im inept with a photcopier, I have basic computer skills. I hope that I know enough to get me through. God this is scarey! Part of me wanted to not get the job so that I could not have to decide, but that would be the cowards way. I know that my friends and Barry will be a big support to me as I try this journey- so I guess its time to take a deep breath and jump in - the waters fine.

6am

I think that getting up at 545am is brutal. I know that many people get up at this time every day (you have my deepest sympathy if this is you) but I do it only a couple times a week or whenever I have my day shifts schduled. Nothing compares with the sound the alarm makes as I try to hide under my warm blankets. But eventually I have to face the fact that I must get up regardless of how much I dont want to.

Im getting ready for work. I have mixed feelings about my job on the one hand I like my co-workers and I find what I do is rewarding. But on the other hand I find it exhausting and busy all the time I know eveyrones work is busy but in my field if its busy you dont get lunch, you barely get to pee cause you cant just up and leave your patient. This would be fine once in a while but all the time takes its toll, I think thats why you see alot of nurses burned out still trying to do there job. I dont want to get to that point hence why Im looking at my other options. Anyway my newest insite about this job Im waiting to hear from is that Im not gonna worry about it which ever way it goes I will take it as a sign that Im either meant for change right now or to keep on the path Im on. There are pros and cons to both jobs and I have been weighing them out more.. which of course makes any choices I might have to make more difficult. Anyway work calls have a good day all.

Cleaning my house not so fun

I just thought I would share with you all that cleaning my house is not so fun. Its not the activity I would most like to be doing. However it is helping to keep my mind off the wait for the phone call. What could be taking so long? Ok perspective here: it has only been a day and really Im sure that it takes more then a day to make a decision on a new employee. Ugh I just want to know either way so I can continue on. The truth is yesterday I was ready to take the job but as time passes those old doubts creep in and you start to think that you wont leave your job. You get scared and cant make the move. I hope that does not happen to me.

Anyway This blog writing is keeping me from my chores- gotta be a good wife and get the homestead tidy and make some dinner for my hard working husband. Hes a good man have I mentioned that lately .. yeah ok maybe I have!!

The Waiting Game Begins

Its 9:25am, the waiting is already killing me. Yesterday when we saw our hero she was contemplating a new job and wondering if she should take it if offered to her. Now that she has decided that she would try it she has yet to hear anything. Now I know that its only 9:30 am and that they have only been open for like an hour and that they probably have to check references etc. But what if they are interviewing someone more fabulous then myself? What if right now there is some girl sitting there telling them how great she would be at this job?

Im trying to look at it this way: if this opportunity threw itself in my path without my searching it out - then if Im meant to have it I will have it. If not then perhaps theres reasons for that. Sometimes I wish I could take just a small peek into the future, not to ruin all the suprises but just a little nano second to see where Barry and I would be. Yup its right up there with winning the lottery.. Anyway Im gonna try and ignore the knot in my stomach and proceed to with my day, which includes cleaning my messy house!! I hate waiting it sucks!