Well my nights of toil have come to an end. I have mixed feeling of course but Im glad that I will snuggled in my bed at night like normal people. I was so tired last night it was like my body was saying we are so done with this!
Of course I was sad last night work threw me a little party and we had food, but I found it hard not to cry cause I felt like I was leaving my family. Its been a great 4 years full of highs and lows but as my 2 center mentor carmen has said to me: cherie in life you have only 2 choices you either make peace or make change. I tried to make peace with the shift work life I tried very hard. But in the end change seemed to be the better option. I dont know how I will like this job but I will give it my best shot. Im nervous its funny I can resescitate a baby, have my hands insides someones abdomen and its easy and I dont even blink- but the thought of an office with all its responsibilies scares me to death. I guess its all what you know and are comfortable with.
We are still in limbo over Barrys job it now looks like he will be getting a mix of days and evenings in 6 week blocks, but that still sounds sucky I mean what if that 6 weeks you are on evenings is like all of july and half of aug? Thats your whole stinking summer poof gone!. I dont like it at all and the timing could not be worse. But Barry I feel so bad for him he loves his job and its awful that they have put him in this cornered postion where he has very few options that work for his family. I know that with time we can work it out, I just hope that I can be the support he needs and that luck will pass our way and help us find a better choice for him some how. I love my husband and want to be the best friend and supporter I can. Hes worth it. I also beleive that he is very talanted and will find the perfect job. Our year is coming 2005 has been a year of mixed feelings we have experience saddness and joy I believe that 2006 is the year of us.
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