Goodbye to our little one.....

Saying Goodbye to our little one, there are no words to do this. So instead I take comfort in these words:

My prayer today is that we will feel the loving arms of God wrapped around us, and will know in our hearts that He will never forsake us as we trust in Him.”

- Billy Graham-

23 weeks and counting...

Hope that everyone had a nice Christmas. We had a nice time visiting with various family members. It seems that it comes and goes so quickly. Anyway Christmas is over and I thought I would share a 23 week picture with you all. Yes between the acne, water retention and weight gain I'm feeling about as glamorous as they come lol. However its all for a very good cause so I will not complain (too much). I have been a bit bad with all the Christmas stuff going on I have not really been resting as have been instructed to do. However now that Christmas is over I'm back on top of that. I spent 5 hours on my left side today.. I have not started to go crazy yet (talk to me in 15 more days). Anyway feel free to call me and say hi I am feeling a little socially isolated right now and would love to chat with anyone of my fine friends. Hope you had a great Christmas.


Me 23 weeks

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Merry Christmas Everyone! I hope that all my friends have a safe and happy holiday! Barry and I are heading to Brockville today, just for overnight. We will be back Christmas Eve. Then its off on Christmas day for a Hembruff family Christmas. Hope that you have all be nice this year so that Santa does not leave a lump of coal!!!

The Waiting Game till January 10th

Well I guess this pregnancy has been designed to teach me patience or something. I just got a call from the high risk cl inc that I'm supposed to follow up with. Apparently they are very busy and my appointment is not till January 10th. That seems like a lifetime away.... at least 19 days. So I guess I'm just sitting here waiting I have been told to do two things take it easy and not go back to work till I see this doctor. I better take up knitting or something its gonna be a long wait!

Update on baby

Hi Everyone,


I wanted to give you an update on my situation. I went today for my ultrasound and got some good news. The tech I had was amazing. She was able to see everything and explained it all to me as we went along. She could see every part of the baby - well accept for that ever stubborn gender! Anyway the heart kidney's, limbs, brain all the organs and everything looks healthy and normal. We were to relieved to hear this as it was the big worry that the baby would be sick.

So what we need to watch for is the baby is a week behind, they have classified it as IUGR (this means Interuterine Growth Retardation- no it does not mean the baby is retarded). I also do have a low level of fluid. They feel that this has to do with placenta. They did mention that there is enough fluid that the baby as been able to flip from breech to head down back to breech. So we need to watch these issues and I will be followed by a high risk clinic for a while. I'm feeling pretty positive I know that things can be OK with these results, as I have delivered IUGR babies and they have been fine, just smaller. It also probably means that I wont go to term as the placenta may not hold out that long. My goal is to get to 35 weeks that would be ideal. So there will be some close monitoring and maybe a bit of a bumpy road ahead, but definitely an optimistic outlook as baby looked good today.

So heres the scoop..

Well I'm finally feeling mentally up to writing this blog. As most of you know I have been having issues with my blood pressure during this pregnancy. I have been off work, back to work and now off work and on meds again. The blood pressure has remained status quo, meaning its not gotten any higher.

However yesterday I went for my appointment to see the results of last weeks ultra sound. The report said that the fluid levels around the baby are what they call "low normal". For those of you who are wondering this is what is important about the fluid:

Amniotic fluid fills the sac surrounding your developing baby and plays several important roles:
• It cushions your baby to protect him from trauma (if you take a tumble, for instance).
• It prevents the umbilical cord from becoming compressed and reducing your baby's oxygen supply.
• It helps maintain a constant temperature in the womb.
• It protects against infection.
• It allows your baby to move around so that his muscles and bones develop properly.
• It helps the digestive and respiratory systems develop as your baby swallows and excretes it and "inhales" and "exhales" it from his lungs.

So as you can read its pretty important. My doctor is leaving for a trip today, so she was gonna see me when I got back. Just as I was getting ready to leave I mentioned to her that in the last week I have not felt the baby move that much. So with the low normal fluid she sent me back to ultrasound. They gave me a written report and I went back to her office. The news was upsetting at best. The fluid was now classified as low vs. low normal. The baby is now said to be measuring a week and a bit behind. Also due to the low fluid its hard for the ultrasound to see the organs and limbs, as the fluid acts as a window to see whats going on. So my doctor gave me the news that she is concerned enough that I am to go to another facility to get what they call a Level 2 ultra sound ( its more detailed). She also has decided to refer me to the high risk clinic down town at Mount Sinai.

So all this news was very upsetting and sent both Barry and I for an emotional loop. The biggest concern with the fluid and measuring behind is that there is a problem with the baby's kidneys or heart.

I got my appointment set up we go tomorrow at 9am to a clinic in Thornhill. The nicest part of my day today was that my doctor has left me in the care of her partner (who I worked with at the hospital) I actually took care of his wife when they had their baby. So he took the time to call me at home and talk to me and gave me alot of hope and reassurance. He has also gone out of his way to make sure that the clinic sends me off with a written report to take to him so that I don't have to go through the holidays not knowing whats going on with the baby. Anyway I'm feeling more hopeful and staying positive. I know that there are alot of people that are rooting for us and praying for us. I'm grateful for the wonderful support we have. I will keep everyone posted once we know whats going on with our baby.

Please Keep us in your thoughts

Barry and I are going through a some worries right now... I'm not yet ready to post all the details, but I would just ask that all our friends and family keep us in your thoughts over the next couple days as we search for answers. I hope that answers will not lead us down a path with more questions.... but often in life that is the case. Anyway thats all for now.

Happy Birthday (officially) to My Barry

A big warm fuzzy Happy birthday goes out to the best husband in the world- Barry!! I know that its hard to have your birthday overshadowed by that "other" holiday this time of year. However no matter today is your day and I hope its a great one! I do believe that there are some birthday presents for you to open and a nice dinner out awaiting you after work today. Have a great day love you honey!!!

Think of it this way you have two things going for you this year: your only 28 which means you still have 2 years ahead before you have to face the 3-0, and at least your birthday is not in January in the dead of winter. I never know what to ask for my birthday cause I just got all my christmas presents. Anyway at least our baby will have it easy - theres not much to compete with in April!!

Its that time of year again.....

No I'm not talking about Christmas, I'm talking about my dear husband Barry's birthday!! Barry has always had to deal with the birthday/Christmas parties and gifts. So tonight we are having a sort of Barry/Holiday fun party. If your reading this your welcome to join us by the way (7pm )!!! Anyway Barrys actual birthday is tuesday so when you see him remind him that hes getting old!!

Happy 30th Birthday Julie!

Well Im happy to announce to all my friends who raze me about turning 30 that Im not the first! My dear friend Julie who lives in Manitoba turns 30 today!!

This is a picture from my wedding, Julie came all the way from Manitoba to share my speical day. Julie, we may not live near by anymore I cant walk up the street and be at your house, but in my heart you are still very dear and our friendship is the source of many great memories for me. I often think about going back to visit Elliot lake but I think to myself what made it home was the people and with all the people gone its not the same.

So Julie on this day I want you to do all of us who are turning 30 a favour, put on your sexiest outfit get out a large bottle of Red Wine (preferably Australian) and have your self one hell of a birthday! After all now that your 30 you can do whatever you want!!! I also hear that 30 is the new 20, so really your still quite young. Ill see you on the 30 side in a month! I wish we could have taken our trip together that we said we would do, but maybe now we do it when we are both 40 and there will be no babies to look after!!

Happy Birthday Girl! love ya........

All is well

Hi Everyone just a little update on me. Blood pressure has come down and my doctor is happy. So I will venture back to work next week, hopefully it will stay that way. I am battling a bad cold right now but at least I have the time to rest and drink my fluids etc.

Went yesterday for my ultrasound. No luck baby does not want to be found out so I will have to accept that this kid wants to be a mystery. Anyway Im gonna try and shake this cold by next week. Anyway Im feeling better then I was and Im hoping to get some Christmas stuff done for next week.

For all who enjoy the Crocodile Hunter....

This is I think the funnest Clip I have ever in my life seen! Steve Irwin meets his most dangerous challenge... Ross the gay man! Its about 5 min in length and just totally deserved to be honoured on my blog! Enjoy

Tis the Season....

For what feels like everything to go wrong that is. (warning: this blog will not be very positive or upbeat read at your discreation).

So as the story continues Im still at home resting, now I have a runny nose, sore throat and a headache as well as high blood pressure. So being pregnant theres not alot of options for medications to take. The one thing that you can take is Tylenol and I dont have any. You may ask why dont you just go get some from the store? I would except that Barrys car broke down today and its in getting some expensive repairs done to it. So Im sick, carless, I cant get anything done for Christmas and now we have car repairs to pay for. Yes its the most wonderful time of the year... or not quite right now.

Anyway I dont have much else to say I think I will go back to bed and hide from the world. Perhaps some sleep will help me remember all the good things that we have to be thankful for.

My Guilty Pleasure

If there ever was a guilty pleasure I have found mine. Its only this special time of year that one can find the glorious treat that is the President's choice Candy Cane Crackle Ice cream. Whats so great about it you ask? Oh let me tell you its a vanilla ice cream that has chunks of dark chocolate, and stripes of mint and lovely chunks of solid candy cane. It is the cadillac of ice creams. I am begining to think that this pregnancy has created some new sort of paranoia about the ice cream.. allow me to explain:

The first time I saw the ice cream this season I was so excited a whole case full of buckets of the lovely stuff. I remained in control and only bought one, I mean it was December 1st its gonna be around for a while right? Anyway a week later I went back to pick up a couple things and I noticed that the ice cream treat freezer bin had gone down by half its stock! Well hello its time for panic, I mean what could this mean? would that be the only supply? Would I wake up one day to find that there was no more? I felt a bead of sweat on my brow and I decided I could not let that happen. So I bought another bucket (even though the other one at home was not even half gone).

Still not that bad you think right? Well every time I now go to the store I take stock of the bin to ensure that the store has not run out. Where there was once maybe 100 cartins there are now only I would say 20. So here is my confession: my husband is going to stop letting me go to Loblaws because everytime I go I come home with another bucket! Right now we have three in our freezer. Im stocking for the long haul here people. If the world ends tomorrow and we can never again have the delight of the candy cane crackle then I will have a supply... however if you think I'm sharing I would have to say its unlikely - in the words of Seinfeld "I haven't a square (or scoop) to spare!

Hurry get it while supplies last!

21 weeks and 3 days.....

The time is ticking on I have now passed the official 20 week half way mark. I must admitt when I look at some of my friends who are almost due I feel like thats still so far away. Perhaps thats a good thing as Barry and I have been bad parents the baby's room is still boxes, we have not settled on a theme and we have not bought 1 thing for this poor little child.

However I think my only New Years resolution this year will be to get ready for our new arrival. Im off work this week to rest as I have been having some high blood pressure issues. We went to see the docotor yesterday and the pressure had come down so thats a good thing, Im gonna rest as much as possible so that I take care of myself and baby. Its werid being home alone all week I feel some external pressure that I should be like getting things done for Christmas, but it will have to wait till I see my doctor later this week and get the ok from her as to how to proceed.

We did go to one Christmas function this past weekend- Julias christmas party. We had a really great time nice to get together with friends this time of year. Nancy and Dan came with their adorable little boy Rylan. Hes 6 months and just getting to that fun stage. It was really neat to see Barry hold him and to think about all the excitment that awaits. I know people joke about how much work it is and how it changes your life, and I know that while those things are true I cant think of a better way for something to change your life then to have a family to love and care for. It took a long time to get emotionally ready for a family but I feel like we are there. Now we just need to get physically ready so the baby has somewhere to sleep!

Good morning Baby

Im finding that a very werid thing is happening to me ... I think Im slowly starting to feel maternal. Now dont get me wrong its not that Im not maternal but I just have not really felt that bond part that people always talk about. So then today I was awake around 6am (for my usual pee break) I got back into bed and I was lying there waiting to see if the baby would move. At this stage it moves sort of here and there not consistently. Anyway I was dissappointed when there was nothing so I went back to sleep.

Im sitting here at the computer having a bowl of cereal and then I felt this little kick, then another and I said out loud - oh your awake good morning. Then it kind of struck me that none else is here and Im having a conversation with my stomach. I realized that I have started to identify with my little bean that is really more the size of a squarel then a bean now. Its werid I feel happy when the baby kicks. Barry was so sweet, last night his cousin (I think its cousin) had a baby in the last week or so and she has been sending us pictures So Barry and I were looking at the latest ones and he turns to me and says looking at these pictures Im excited. It was so sweet hes also starting to really see that the reality is coming. Anyway I thought it deserved a blog to mention that the Bates family is really starting to gear up for the newest member.

The Luck of a Nurse

Its official I have the luck of nurse. For those of you who dont know what that means allow me to explain. Nurses work in various areas such cancer, surgery , emergency etc. It is not uncommon to those of us in the nursing world to experience what we call unlucky nurse syndrome. What this means is that nurse seem to be prone to coming down with medical issues related to the are they work in. A nurse who works in the OR needing surgery, an emerg nurse needing stiches ... you get the picture. Anyway I can now add myself to that list.

Im by training an obstetrical nurse so what is the most likely going to happen to me? Im going to have some sort of pregnancy related issues. So it begins I have PIH or more commonly known has Pregnancy Induced Hypertension. In lay man terms it means I have high blood pressure cause by being pregnant. Its not a good thing to have it can cause lots and lots of troubles, but lucky for me I have a wonderful doctor and she is on the ball. So after a bad headache. bad pressure situation today I saw her and am now on blood pressure meds and off work till the 15th of December on modified bed rest. So Im gonna try and not have stress or worry creep in too much and take care of myself and the little bean.

Yes I know that these things can happen to anyone but ask a nurse any nurse and they will not only agree but have a story about a nurse who they knew who had some sort of illness related to the area they are in. Right now I know 4 nurses from the hospital that are pregnant and all are off for one reason or another. Anyway Im gonna rest and hope for the best... oh we can talk about my front lying placenta and breech presentation baby another day, after all only a nurse will have all these issues. Its scientifically proven.... well maybe not but it should be.

20 weeks and counting....

Here are the most recent ultra sound pics of our little baby. Still remains a mystery as to whether its a he or she... but I must say (and I might be a little biased) I think we have the makings of one cute baby on our hands! Look out world!

My boss brought her baby into the office today (shes 2 months) and she has got to be the cutest thing in the whole world!!! I held her and got some practice feeding and burping, I must say I did not do a bad job- perhaps I will be better at the whole mother thing then I think! Anyway Im half way there.

I have some high blood pressure issues that my doctor is watching so I gotta take a deep breath and not let life stress get to me! Gotta find my Zen place and stay there till this little one is baked. Other then that I have Barry, family, friends and its Christmas time life is good who could as for more!!

The Rockettes Rocked!

Barry and I went to see the Radio City Christmas Spectacular and it was awesome! Everything from the music, costumes, dance numbers and of course the famous Rockettes made the night a very fun one for the young and young at heart. Made me feel extra Christmas spirited. I have got a little clip from one of their performances. Hope it puts you in the Christmas spirit too!