Small Blessings

As hard as things have been these last couple weeks I have to see the small blessings. Today Barry left for work and I felt upset anxious and ready for a good old fashioned breakdown. So to try and help myself I went down to the computer to look up some trip stuff. Then the phone rings it was my boss from work. I was not gonna answer but I thought I better. I ended up having a conversation with her for a while. It was very nice, she was quite encouraging and a good person to talk to in that moment. I got off the phone and it rang again this time it was the social worker from the hospital calling me to see how I was doing. I talked to her for a while and she offered lots of helps and things that I could relate to. She helped me to see that I'm very normal (even though I don't feel as if I am) She helped me identify that while I am not feeling better I am moving through the grieving process.

I guess it was just a small blessing that when I felt like I was gonna hit the wall there were some people who helped me through that moment. I'm now gonna get on with my day. I feel like while I'm not at work, I'm working very hard to process what has happened. One thing the social worker said that made alot of sense was that because we don't have answers yet its very hard to move forward and its very hard to find any kind of closure. I could totally agree with that. She helped me to see that I'm searching for answers and there are not any yet, and that while my emotions and logic are off balance and not together in their operating that its OK and very normal. Its just nice to be told that your normal when you feel so abnormal.