Indescribable

This is an amazing song! It has totally uplifted me in the last few days. I hope you enjoy it.

Im ok

I have this tendency to be very hard on myself. If any one in my life directly will tell you its been quite a process and continues to be. I have good times and not so good times (just like anyone else I suppose). I often think that I need to be perfect, but I realize that is not possible as a human being who makes mistakes. God is perfect and I chose to put trust in him to see me through the good bad and ugly. I found this quote that I think describes perfectly where I am:

"I'm not where I need to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be. I'm okay, and I'm on my way."

The effects of Face book on Blogging!

My poor blog, beloved blog... what has happened? I have been so neglectful of my blog... all because of the newest craze on the net.. face book. If you dont know what face book is you live under a rock! Seriously its killing blogging as we know it. The endless searches for people we knew from like years ago, the posts, writing on peoples walls.... its an addiction for sure. I have limited my use of face book because I am trying to channel myself away from anything that seems to cause me to waste my time in large quantities.

Anyway I felt that I needed to write a blog cause I have been told that my blogging is going down hill. So let me tell you a small tidbit for the day:

I was at the gym this past weekend and I was waiting for a friend of mine to come to the body pump class that we go to. I had set up her stuff so that if she was late she could just hop in and start. Seeing as she did not make it to the gym I was left with her stuff set up and unused. This guy came into the class late and I said to him hey you can use this set up if you want. No big deal right? Wrong!!! It is a huge deal that this particular fellow did not feel it necessary to use any deodorant before attending this class. So I was the unfortunate victim of his manly work out smell (gross!!!) So I have learned a lesson : beware the smelly gym guy as he could be working out right next to you!!

That is my tid bit of blogging for today! Other then that life is getting better and better. I have found a new strength in my faith and God.. many may not understand this but trust me God has been and continues to be very good to me! I have alot to be thankful for and so much to look forward to in the future. I hope and pray that I can share my blessings with those in my life.

Dont forget to put your clocks forward

I'm losing an hour of sleep!! I am a night hawk, always have been.. always will be. That in turn means I'm so not a morning person. So when the evening comes I come alive and end up staying up too late, thus perpetuating the non morning person cycle. So now that we have to put our clocks ahead I am forced to lose another precious hour of sleep.

Today it rained, which means that spring is coming... I enjoy spring because it brings me that much closer to summer. I wont go into a long dramatic story of how spring brings everything alive etc etc I'm sure we can all figure that out ( Ill live the rest to the poets). For me spring was supposed to be alot of things.. and for right now its not any of those things. I accept where I am, and believe strongly in my heart that where I am is just a part of a journey that I must take. Someday I know that I will write a blog that will reflect back on the months past and realize that God knows more then I do and the whole time was holding me in his hand while I walked through this valley. Today I'm grateful to be sane.. there have been days that it has been hard to put one foot in front of the other, and to be able to just get out of bed and face the world. I have come along way from that place. I'm now back at work and things are going OK.. I'm not feeling extremely passionate about it.. but things will return to balance in time.

People may not look at me and think that much has changed in my life, but I can tell you that my heart is a completely different place then it was 2 months ago. Its amazing how certain life experiences can take you through dark places and bring you out the other side richer. I wish I could skip the spring, because its a season that I want to forget this year.. but I cant do that I have to do just as I have done all along I have to walk through each day- or as my mom would have said "take one day at a time". Time stands still when you want it to go fast, and time goes fast when you wish it could go slow. That is a universal truth I have come to see, but no matter how fast or slow time does march on and with it things get better. I wanted to have my first mothers day this year with a new baby, and while that wont happen this year, I believe that God has a special plan and that in his perfect time I will get that wish. Until then I will continue to put one foot in front of the other and step forward in faith.

Happy Monday everyone!!

Happy monday everyone I just wanted to say a quick hi and let you all know Im still alive. Im starting back to work full time next week so that will be good, its time I need to get on with life. Im thankful that I can go back to work cause with us owing for income tax this year I need to ha ha!

Have a great day to all my readers


God is good all the time... All the time God is good!

My thoughts on being back to work..

So I'm sure that many of you are curious about my back to work experience. I have been asked by many how things are going. They are going fine, somethings never change.. nurses still do the crazy things that nurses do, people are still OCD about the same things, shifts, what nurses they have, etc. The people I work with are of course wonderful.. and without them i don't think work would be half as good or enjoyable.

However having said that I will give you an analogy for what I feel about being back to work at this time in my life: its like going to the dentist... you have to go to the dentist, its good for you, its needed.. but its can also be painful and often you are relieved when its over. That is how I feel right now.. Its not that I don't want to work or that I cant work.. its just that still somewhere inside of me my heart is else where. I long for the days where I'm more myself. I have not really been blogging lately mainly cause theres not much to say.. I think I'm telling more of my feelings to God and praying. Trying to build up some faith and to find some inner strength. So its a process its been 2 months now, all the changes that have happened for me I could not have imagined and would take too long to write.. but if you ever really want to know ask and Ill tell you, cause its not all bad I have discovered some amazing things in this time that I'm now considering a journey.

Anyway work may not be a day at the beach.. but its not the end of the world either.. I'm sure somewhere in there I will find my groove again. Until then open wide the dentist will see you now..

Blasts from the past

I have a new addiction, its called facebook. Im sure many of you have joined this strange club where you write on people's walls. Anyway as part of the experience you can become part of a group.. what to my delight do I find? My old camp has a group!! So here are a couple of photos, ah the good old days! I cant tell you why we are lying on the floor, Im assuming some sort of game. Camp was so much more fun then the real world.. where are the camps for adults???




You will notice the large walkie talkie that I carrry, its very stylish! I still have that hat by the way buttons and all!!