The end is in sight

Well I can finally say that the end is in sight. The bathroom may soon be mine again. I have spent the last almost month in Barrys wasteland bathroom. Its dirty grimy and boy like, but I have endured.. sadly I have come to the place where I take more enjoyment showering in public at the gym then in my husbands cave.

Anyway just to review I mentioned a while ago that I had some goals that I wanted to work on. I thought I would update you on that. On the going to they gym front I have been going for the last 2 weeks 5 days a week. I go every morning and work out for an hour. I have been for the most part eatting very well. I am now down 4 pounds - thats almost half way to my May goal of 10 pounds. We are almost done the bathroom and starting to think about the next project.

I am starting to do some causal hours at the hospital just to keep me up to date on all that hands on nursing. Anyway Im totally boring today and have not much to report. Im sure that Barry is gonna write some really funny ironic blog, so Im not even gonna try for humor today. Some days ya got it and some you dont. Today Im just in a boring place, a happy content place but boring none the less.

New computer and other news

Hi Everyone, well I have been lazy these last week or so and Im have not taken the time to write in my blog. So whats new in the Bates household. We are finally finally going to paint or bathroom today! How exciting is that!!! Im pretty excited! That means that we are nreaing completion. We just have to do the floor (or rather or friends dad will do it for us) and put up the new light fixture that we bought. Im so excited! The bathroom is gonna look soo good. We have already decided what our next project will be: the living room, we are changing the very thing that first attracted me to the house- the walls. They are done in a painted Faux finish - which I love but believe its had its day and needs a face lift. So we are gonna paint it and then replace the carpet with new carpet. Alas we were gonna do hardwood or even laminiate but with the stairs it was way out of our price range. Anyway some new paint and some new carpet and that room will shine!!

So last night my dear husband and I went to Best Buy to look at some new flat panel computer monitors and he wanted a DVD burner. We priced them and it was gonna be more then half the cost of a new computer.... so here I sit on a brand new cpmputer- how this happened Im not sure. Anyway Barry sold his old one so it was doable. Barry works so hard often 6 days a week and I felt like he deserved to get something that he really wanted. So Im happy that he has his new computer.

Oh other news! I am excited to tell you all that Im returning causally to the hospital! I had expressed interest to the management that if there was ever a posting to let me know. Anyway They said there were 2 but that they had so many internal applicants that they could not hire me back this time. So I was shocked to get the message that I had been accepted! Im very excited I love my new job but I miss the action and babies in the hospital. Its a very easy commitment only 2 shifts in 9 weeks. so thats not bad at all. Plus a little extra cash never hurt!! Anyway that will give me some exciting stories again (for those of you who thrived on my tales!) I also think maybe it will give me my baby fix .. but it also might just make me want to have one who knows!! Anyway Im excited I am so lucky I have the been granted the best of both worlds my day life and my hospital drama!!

Well thats all for now Hope everyone has a great weekend! Cheers- oh and a speical shout out to Sam on her 25th birthday! See ya at the party Sammy!!!!

Kudos to Barry today!

I give Kudos to my husband today! He is awesome. I was supposed to come home after being out with some friends and prime the bathroom and I come home to find that he has primed the bathroom all himself! I was so impressed! He is turning out to be the best handyman!

Also I was even more impressed that he on his own without any help has learned how to rewire light switches! Barry has not had anyone to teach him how to do these things and Im really impressed at how he has been able to figure out things and just do it. He is a quick learner and just knows how to get things done. Im so proud of him, hes taking such good care of me and out home. Anyway I just thought that he deserved to be acknowledged. Great work honey keep it up!!!

Things that make me smile

I thought I would take a minute to post some pictures that make me smile. These are just a small sample of what I have to be happy about, but even these small things are great.



My husband - living out his dream to have a big dog! very cute!


Currently these are my "children" sometimes even with these ones there are night time feedings and waking! This is as close as they get!

a great memory, this was one of the last pictures taken of us together, it was thanksgiving. Dad saved me from burned gravey! I was trying to impress Barrys family with my cooking! Im glad he was so happy, and that he met Barrys Grandparents to this day that is a great blessing to me.

Humanity

Its funny, one day you feel like writing a blog about how the toilet paper on the roll looks and the next you find yourself reflecting on, well everything that brought you to where you are. This is one of those days. I have found that March has been a werid month, I have found my moods to be all over the map and I have found myself looking at my life.

Sometimes I find myself looking around me thinking that I am this poor example of humanity and that everyone is so much stronger, together and wiser then me. However sometimes you get to see a glimpse of life, you see people around you experience true joy and true sadness. It makes you stop and shake your head and say wow here i am so focused on myself that you forget that there are people out there with needs just like your own. Once you take the time to open your eyes and see what those around you are doing you realize we are all human- I know thats such a hugely obvious statment but sometimes I forget that under the skin and bones and "vitals" that I know how to take, is heart and feeling. I sometimes forget to look at those things. I feel a greater sense of peace knowing that even though we all lead separate lives we sometimes come together and touch each others hearts. Im very glad that the people in my world have touched me and I have hopefully touched. Does this blog make your brain hurt yet? I know that it might not make much sense but it makes sense to me.

Another thing I have been thinking about is God. I feel like I have shut off this tap in myself. Alot of people may not be aware that I came from a very spiritual place. I as many know had some stuff happen in my life over the last few years that made me shut down and it felt like if I let myself be aware of God, or about what that means that I would let in this pain about my family, it felt like if I acknowledged God I had to acknowledge the begining and the end- that death comes and so it has in my life. All those things remind me of parents, and for a long time that was too much. I am lucky to have a friend that recently made me remember that. I had it in my head but I had not verbalized that I well I missed my spiritual side. I perhaps at one time did not have a balance in my life and I was very extreme in some of my views and thoughts, but I believe that there can be balance that includes God. I also know that i was raised in the most loving home my family gave me this God given life they just breathed into me truth and life and taught me how to love. They taught me what God means to us as people. Now Im not preaching to anyone Im just saying my thoughts, I just feel like as I start to think about kids I try to think about the things that I found important in my upbring and I want to make sure that I give those to my family. My parents greatest gift to me was knowledge of God- I need to find my way back to that how can I ever give life to another person without giving them the most important aspect of life - the spirit. Dont worry Im not gonna shave my head or join a cult or anything like that. Im just thinking maybe theres room for God maybe I need to let him in again. I have been scared to think about it scared to think that if I let God in more it will make me feel sad about missing my family. However I would rather chose to think that it would honour them and they would be so proud looking down from heaven. Again not to worry Im still Cherie I just am Cherie who is starting to be touch more with her feelings- I still like red wine...... but so did Jesus so I guess we are in good company!

I have been so narrow minded. Im so blessed yet I complain so much. I have the greatest people in my life- I have the most real people the most true people. Even though we all struggle at times its nice that we can always support each other. Its such a gift to love that sometimes I forget that loving people is sometimes the best you can give- I hope that I can aim to love my friends and family more... complain less appreciate more. I hope that everyone in my life who reads this knows that I feel honored to have you add to my life. Anyway I guess thats enough spilling my guts. Hey what good is a blog if you cant use it to say whats on your mind. I hope you sleep in peace tonight good night.

5 months...

Hi Everyone,

Well today is my 5 month wedding anniversary. I don't know if you really celebrate that sort of thing but its a nice little land mark for us. We have been having a lot of fun as a married couple, planning our summer mini trips, attempting to struggle through home renovation: by the way my list and plan to work on the bathroom has not yet happened. I just find Im so tired by the time I get home from work that I don't want to do anything. So I have to go hard core on Friday and get that bathroom ready to paint. My goal is to have this bathroom done by Easter, Lets hope that we can do it!!!

Barry is great, Im learning more and more about him as time goes on. He always suprises me like tonight he had tidied the kitchen- which was a big help to me. Its great we are definitely in a good place. Talking about having kids has just been a natural progression, we just have become more comfortable talking about it. That's not to say that we are gone rush into anything just that we are getting more comfortable with the thought of it. I think that's the first step. I still have stuff I want to do. I guess there is not magical formula for readiness.. I kinda just hope we know when we are ready.

Anyway Im off to watch some TV and get ready for bed! Happy 5 months to Barry and I!! only 7 more till our one year.. then what will I call my blog I wont be a newlywed anymore!! who knows! night everyone.

Lets get back to business

Well I think we can all agree too much drama for 1 week! I have obviously made some errors and Im ok with admitting that. Anyway Im ready to get back to the purpose of this blog to just be me and share my life with my friends.

Thanks for all the support from my friends who saw how I was feeling about the comments. I have put my blog settings back to just letting my friends post ( I really do like when you all leave your comments). Anyway this blog is now monitored by a blog security system so that if I need to I can track who writes in my blog. I hope this will not be necessary.

I started this as a fun way to destress and share, and thats what I want it to be. If your not on this blog as a friend please dont post. If your not someone who is actively in my life I know I cant stop you from reading but have enough respect to keep your thoughts to yourself. Thanks everyone! Next blog topic on a lighter note: Barry and Cheries dream to go on a vegas vacation!!!

Deep Thoughts and all the crap in my brain

Well it has been a while since I have written but I think that the weather this weekend has made me do some thinking. Barry and I have been talking quite a bit in the last while about babies and family and just evaluating what matters to us.

Of course it has always been the plan to have kids but I think now we are ready to put a plan in action. I know I know not everything is plannable nor is it always go according to plan. But there are things to think about. For myself to have a child (not really soon so dont get too worked up people) but for us to start to plan there are some things that we need to do to be ready:

1. Physical readiness: I have been slacking on my diet and not really pushing my exercise. So my goal is I want to lose 40 pounds by the fall, I want to be in good physical shape before I try to have kids. So that means healthy eatting and more exercise- I know I wont be perfect and i know that there may be a bowl of ice cream somewhere in there so Im realistic. So start I want to lose 10 pounds by the end of May. I think thats a modest doable goal. I also want to start taking vitamins and just looking after myself and helping Barry to focus on his own health. We want to be good role models for our kids. We are gonna get some bikes and try and get out more this spring and summer

2. Home Readiness: We are gonna finish the bathroom we started and try and work on making our kitchen a little nicer, and giving our home some outdoor care. The end of that goal involes transforming Barrys office into a furture bedroom, so that means saving money for a new window.

3. Finacial readiness: we are trying to get some bank stuff sorted out to help us save more for the future and tidy up our spending so that we are more prepared to live within a smaller budget (kids cost money). Also save money for the extras like the new window we need.

4. Emotional readiness- this is a big one! I dont know how to put it into words (this is a whole other blog really!) but we need to just talk and research and just get more comfortable with the process.

Anyway this is just a start, stay tuned!

6am and Im awake whats up with that?

Its 6am and Im wide awake! What is up with that? Im having a very strange week. I have no idea what has brought on this whole weridness. I have been in talks with the mangers at the hospital I used to work with, Im hoping to get back on board causally. I dont know if that will be an option but I think I need to have some hospital time. I need some adventure and action, again part of this is due to the fact that I miss the moms and babies I used to work with. So iM hoping that there will come some answers about this and that I can have a chance to do what Im stil passionate about. Again I love my job but its not exciting. Im not wanting to go back on a full time basis I like the lifestyle I have, but I definatly want the option to go and use my nursing skills. Im really hopeful that this will happen.

Oh I hope spring gets here soon before I go bonkers, Also my theory is if Im back with the occasional shift in the hospital I will get my "baby fix" and stop thinking about them outside of the hospital. Im thinking thats whats wrong with me Im just missing my maturnity. Say a little prayer for me that they have some causal job openings and that I get one! Im gonna go lie down for an hour try and sleep.

I think I have Cabin Fever

Well where to begin? its alot easier to blog I find when one has issues. I think I have issues. Not like serious issues but issues all the same. Today I have been grumpy moody and depressed. I ate chocolate tonight- yes I ate chocolate and lots of it! Did I mention chips to? I hardly eat like that anymore and I had alike a good break down. Im sure I will be seeing my friend the 4 pounds back this week.

I am trying to figure out whats bugging me. To start my bathroom resembles the inner circle of hell. I have a working sink I cant shower or pee in there, so Im forced to use the "boy bathroom" its gross, and cold. So that puts me in a mood off the bat. While I like my job I find it a little isolating I dont have much interaction with people and Im feeling like I miss that. I used to have so much interaction and now I dont, and the only interaction I have is generally with people who want to bitch at me. I like my co -workers and Im greatful for the job, but its just beena slow week and I am feeling bored.

Ok Im just gonna say it: Im having some baby confusion. Now all you baby freaks out there who have been saying I will be the next one and wishing fertility on me dont freak out. I just am feeling like its all around me everywhere I go its babies, my co workers are pregnate, I have friends who are prego, and even unlikely people are now talking about the potential to become parents. Now Im so confused I dont feel ready I like my freedom to a degree, but a part of me feels its like the next step. I also feel like I want to be more finically ready, and more ready with the home stuff. Ugh! Go away babies go away! I thought I would go to the mall tonight to get it off my mind- what is there babies! Babies in strollers, babies in arms. Its unavoidable, I even came on line and noted that a blogger I read about now and then has had a baby. Why is this in my head? I never gave a crap about timing, If something has turned my biological clock on I think I need to hit snooze cause this is freaking me out! Even my husband is freaking me out! Hes like well just let me know when your ready. EEK! What is that! Im sure this is all a phase Im bored and its winter blues. Nice weather is coming and then I will be back out enjoying life and Babies can again take a place in the self marked: "later".

Ok Im gonna go take an antacid, I ate too much.

I have No bathroom

Well the home improvements continue, Barry and I have made good progress. I have finished stripping the wall paper (THANK GOD!) and Barry assisted by removing the toilet and then helping to sand the walls and fill the holes. But sadly we are out of motivation and need some additional stuff to move to the next phase- that will mean next weekend we will paint! So until then I am living in a bathroom that has only a workable sink. I have to go down to Barry's dungeon bathroom for usage of toilet and shower. I don't know if any of you know about Barry bathroom- but it is the area I refer to as the "hot zone" the center for disease control has taken swabs and we are awaiting results. Anyway I'm forced to spend a week in its use. I don't know what's worse, not showering or showering in there. I hope that I make it through the week, as I don't know if I will survive the bathroom experience. Anyway the renovations are going well no major problems yet. We are slowly increasing our handymen skills (we have a book!). Hey everyone has to start somewhere right! Stay tuned!