My house is gonna be the cleanest place around!

There is no doubt that my house is gonna be the cleanest place around. It is only Day 2 and I have already finished almost all the laundry, I have dusted every spot I can think that dust might hide, you can see my bedroom floor for the first time in who knows how long. I have organized my drawers and pulled out stuff to give to the Salvation Army. Who knew that feeling sad and miserable would cause such a cleaning frenzy. Its part of my plan to keep myself busy and not sit and feel over come by saddness. Its a good plan but Im soon gonna run out of things to do around here.. let me know if your house could use a good cleaning!

It is an awful feeling to feel as though you can't just sit and be with your thoughts, because those thoughts are to hard to handle. The only time I get any clarity or feeling that I can handle my thoughts is when I blog. Lets recount this morning and how it went:

Barry gets ready to leave for work and I am able to see him off without crying.. dont get me wrong it was close. So he leaves and I start to let my guard down, then just when I think hes gone... hes back forgot his wallet. So I cant stop myself this time and I burst out crying as he leaves. Sorry honey that you had to deal with that this morning. Anyway I got through that moment. I decided to go to my daily list and figure out what I needed to accomplish today. One thing on my list was that I needed to call and cancel my high risk pregnancy appointment at Moutn Sinai.

I call the clinc and an abrupt forceful (for lack of a better word) women answers the phone. The converstation goes like this:

Me- Hi my name is Cherie Hembruff (have not changed the old health card yet). I need to cancel my appointment with Dr. Ryan for tomorrow.

Abrupt women- Why are you cancelling?

Me- I have had a misscarriage.

Abrupt Women- Do you want to keep your appointment

Me- (puzzled) do you think I should keep the appointment?

Abrupt Women- Well you do plan to try again don't you?

Me- (trying to not have a break down) yes

Abrupt Women- How old are you?

Me- 29 (did not mention turning 30)

Abrupt Women- Oh your young, you have lots of time, you should wait 6 months, but thats just my opinon.

Me- (confused) I should wait 6 months and see Dr. Ryan?

Abrupt Women- no you should wait 6 months and try again, to make sure everything is clear...

Me- Why should I wait 6 months?

Abrupt Women- Trust me its just my opinon but Im a mother so I know these things you should wait 6 months. Are you going to see your doctor?

Me- Yes next week.....

Abrupt women- When did you have your misscarriage?

Me- last week

Abrupt Women- Oh its too soon to see Dr Ryan for a prepregnancy consult, go to your doctor.

Me- Ok.....

Abrupt women- Yeah wait six months to make sure everything is clear, then you try and you come see us.

Me- um thanks .. ok bye!

As you can see from the above narrative this advice from the abrupt women was clearly not requested. I was tempted to ask her for her medical creditials, other then being a mother! So after that upsetting interaction I moved forward with my cleaning.

I know that this blog has taken a not so fun turn in the last week, but its cheaper then therapy so I figure why not! Hey ladies want a great diet plan? Guarenteed to drop the pounds? Its called the be sad, dont eat diet. Yup its working great, like me you too can be sad, cry alot and not eat - want proof? I have lost 12 pounds in 10 days! Thats right. If you call now for your diet information package I will throw in for free my diet plan: the page is blank cause you dont want to eat when your upset. Note (or fine print) for diet to be effective you must be devastated by a tradgedy and be unable to cope. I think I should surely write infomercials.

Anyway there are places to clean and things to organize.