Facing my fear: flying

I have to say that I have always been a bit of scardy cat, Im afraid of bugs, mice, scarey movies, robbers, being alone at night. However for the most part these things dont get the best of me. There is however one thing that I am afraid of that I have never been able to get over: flying. Ok before anyone out there starts telling me stats and how its safer then driving etc etc- hear me out. If I bang up my car it is likely in most cases I will be ok, if something happens on a plane likely (unless I am the star of lost the tv show) I will not wash up on a tropical island awaiting resuce while werid and wacky things happen (for you fans out there what the heck are those darn numbers anyway??) Anyway Im getting off topic, the point is Im afraid to fly, I always have been probably always will be. The one good thing that I can say is that I dont let it stop me from doing things as I do enjoy travel. I figured that maybe by writing this blog and talking about it I might get it out there and not internally worry till this weekend. Let me tell you what is the hardest about facing an upcoming flight: the week before I go away I will lie in bed and just at that point when your about to fall asleep I will be thinking about the plane and then I have this jolt of fear and Im wide awake trying not to think about what I just imagined happened. For those of you who dont know I had my first (and hopefully only) panic atttack on the plane on the way to Mexico. I have never had one before and to be honest used to make light of people who said they have them. However I now have new respect as I have never felt such a sense of not being able to breathe and feeling so anxious. It was not good, and as my husband can tell you rather a bit embaressing. I do recall he tried to read a book and pretend it was not happening.

So I did something the other day to face my fear: Barry and I were home on sunday just hanging out, I got season one of Lost so we decided to watch the first episode. For those of you who dont watch lost its about a plane that crashes on an island and the lives of these survivors. Anyway the first episode is where the miracle of speical effects takes over and they show you in graphic detail the plane crumbling apart piece by piece. Anyway I know that you are all expecting this story to end with a moral about how I faced my fear and felt better after I watched it. I felt worse and wanted to vomit. Note to self: perhaps its better not to face fear but live in denial and medicate one self for flight. Yes I think my drugs and I will have a happy sleepy flight. Anyway I just thought I would share you my chicken soup for the fear of flying soul. I hope if you are afraid of flying that I have helped- helped you live in denial that is! Ha ha just a little flight humour!